At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
