your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
how could I be having a bad time, I have the three most important things in life: Goat cheese, Xanax, and Saved By the Bell Re-runs.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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