dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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