I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
