It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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