Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
