He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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