its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Such a big mess for such a small penis
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
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