Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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