Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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