So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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