Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
