just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
Randomize
