i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
