How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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