Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Randomize
