I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
There are leaves in my underwear?
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
