Don't you send me to vm
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
