Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i barfeds in our rink
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
