She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
