Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
