I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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