he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Randomize
