I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
