dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
