were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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