There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
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