someone threw a dead crab at me
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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