i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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