All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
