White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
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