There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
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