Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
