This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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