yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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