So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
Randomize
