What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
