Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
