her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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