At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
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