i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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