Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
