OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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