I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
