I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Randomize
