Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
