he referred to my room as the tit cave...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
