Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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