And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
