I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
