im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Randomize
