you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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