the new term for farting is butt boxing.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
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The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
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