I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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